This might seem like another weird and unusual title for a blog, or even an unusual way to start a blog, but I read something the other day that really made me think about why I do the things I do (and why I have done them since the loss of Jasper) and why I will continue to do them. This is what I read:
Because right now, there is someone out there with a wound in the exact shape of your words.
It is something I seem to ask myself (or think about quite a fair bit) – I always seem to be thinking why bother?! Why bother with cleaning the house, do the washing, food shopping, cooking, socialising, going out to things we have on and why bother waking up the next morning to start another day all over again?! Really, it is like another one of those painful unanswered questions.
You see children give meaning to your life – they give you something to aim for, something to work for, they give your life meaning and reason and no matter how hard things become, you manage to keep on pushing through – for the sake of your children. But what happens when your child dies (apart from immense grief, heartache and pain)?! Well you lose all of that meaning and you suddenly start finding that you are always asking yourself why bother?!
I wrote a blog a while ago called “The Meaning of Life” and talked about how you have to find a new meaning to life when you experience baby loss (of the loss of a child at any age) so I guess in some way this blog ties in with that one. Despite finding a new meaning to life – a way to keep moving forward, I always find that I seem to be asking myself the why bother question – and of course never coming up with much of an answer.
So why do I bother to keep going – well it would actually be far easier to be able to give up (it would require far less strength) but to be honest with you the answer to the reason why I bother is in the quote that I used at the start of this blog – “Because right now, there is someone out there with a wound in the exact shape of your words”. This is the exact reason why I write my blogs, organise and hold fundraisers and provide a variety of keepsake and baby loss donations to hospitals.
I bother because I want to be able to create something in and honour Jasper’s memory – I want his life and legacy to be able to live on through me. I also choose to bother because I want to use my experience and journey to try to help and support others who will face a similar one. Doing these things gives me a reason to bother – gives me a reason to wake up each morning and face the day.
Sometimes you just must find one small, simple reason – you must find your reason to keep bothering and create a new meaning to your life.
Here are 4 quotes for when you feel like giving up – or when you ask yourself the Why Bother? Question:
- “If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles”.
- “Be thankful for all the troubles you don’t have”.
- “Hope is the only thing stronger than fear”.
- “I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength”.
So, just remember that if you wake up one morning and think to yourself “Why Bother” there is probably someone else (or a few people in the world) who are facing the same question each day – when you find yourself asking this question, just remember that there is someone out there with a wound in the exact shape of yours and if they can keep working through each day, then so can you!!!
We bother so that their memory and legacy live on.