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Life Lessons – Part 6

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware.   Continuing from my previous blog about the life lessons that I have learnt since the loss of our son, here is Life Lesson #6. “I have heard it said that the greatest loss a human being can experience is the loss of a child. This is true. It doesn’t just change you, it demolishes you. The rest of your life is spent on another level” – Gloria Vanderbilt. There is no fancy title or name for this life lesson (sorry about that) – it quite simply is about how much my perspectives and outlook on life and many things to do with life changed following the loss of our son. The first 27 years of my life ended at 9:31am on the 28thof August 2017 (when our son passed away at 31 minutes old) and the new chapter of … Continued

Life Lessons – Part 4

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. Continuing from my previous blog about the life lessons that I have learnt since the loss of our son, here is Life Lesson #4. “It’s not what we have in our life, it is who we have in our life that matters”. This is life lesson #4. What do I mean by this statement? Well, this is something that has taken me a while to realise and think about following our loss – but just over a year later it is a topic that I feel passionate about and one that I can continue to look back on, reflect on and discuss quite confidently.  This lesson is quite a harsh one, but in saying that, it is also an important one as well. It is not the people that are there on the day of the loss, at the time … Continued

Life Lessons – Part 3

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. Continuing from my previous blog about the life lessons that I have learnt since the loss of our son, here is Life Lesson #3. One simple word, GRIEF – and what a word this is. The real definition of grief is ‘intense sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death’. But for me, a bereaved mother, there is so much more meaning to this word than just this short and simple definition. What does the word GRIEF mean to me? Well, I will grieve for a lifetime. Period. There is no ‘getting over it’, no solution, no fix to my heartache. There is no end to the ways or how long I will grieve and no going back in time. For as long as I breathe, I will grieve, ache and love our son with all my heart and soul. Most people … Continued

Remembering Logan

Lauren Citrone, mother of Logan, wrote this poem in remembrance of her angel baby, a year after he was born sleeping on 26 January 2014. This year is Logan’s 5th birthday. “It’s been 365 days since you kicked me and I felt you move inside me It’s been 365 days since I was told your little heart was no longer beating Since they handed you to me and I was able to say “hello Logan” It’s been 365 days since I hugged you And kissed you And whispered to you how much I love you Since I touched your soft hair And checked under your swaddled blanket to see if you had my toes or your daddy’s Its been 365 days since I said goodbye to you And now today, one year since you left this earth we lay you to rest. I remember when I took your ashes home … Continued

Life Lessons – Part 2

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. Continuing from my previous blog about the life lessons that I have learnt since the loss of our son, here is Life Lesson #2. When you lose a child, you become an exclusive member of a different society/different group of people in the world. There is one bond that is formed through the loss of a baby and that is the bond between bereaved parents – an unspeakable bond that I am continually struck by. People that you have never previously met or known become your strength within a heartbeat of time. I think this bond is just a pure and true understanding of the heart and one that connects us in many ways, even if we have never met before. You share in the same tragedy that they share in, you can relate to them when you feel like … Continued

Life Lessons – Part 1

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. There are many things that I have learnt during my journey of baby loss – life lessons I guess you could call them. My blog over the next couple of months will be touching on some of the Life Lessons, or things that I have learnt. “No matter who tries to teach you lessons about life, you won’t understand it until you go through it on your own” – Author Unknown. Growing up, one of the most common things I would hear adults say was in reference to the lessons that they have learnt throughout their life so far, they would always say that as you grow up, you will learn things as you go and these become your life lessons. They give you the experience to grow as a person and to gain knowledge in different aspects of life. … Continued

A Christmas Nightmare

This is a personal blog by Sarah Pridham and Still Aware acknowledge this may be sensitive to some readers. This blog does not reflect the views of Still Aware, however, we are sensitive to understand this blog does depict the turmoil some bereaved parents endure and there are many faces of grief. Still Aware want you to know you are not alone.     It seemed fitting to have my next blog about Christmas time since it is nearly that time of the year again. I remember not long after our loss, Christmas was fast approaching, and I remember reading in so many books, blogs and stories about loss that the ‘firsts’ of everything were the hardest – the first Christmas, first Birthday, first angelversary, first Mother’s Day and so on. It was true – a little under 4 months after our loss was our first Christmas, well what was meant … Continued

Health care providers believe myths too

Written by A/Prof Jane Warland There are a LOT of myths out there about fetal movements. Often it is thought that pregnant women are the only people that can hold to these myths and that maternity care providers know better but this is actually not always the case. What is the definition of a myth? a widely held but false belief or idea Maternity care providers (and sometimes even researchers) often belief the myth that a well fetus will move an average of 10 times in 2 hours. This is dangerous because many care providers will tell a woman who is concerned about her baby’s movements to count to 10 over the next 2 hours and if the baby moves as little as that then all is well. This advice is given because it is THOUGHT to be based on evidence. I hasten to say that believing this myth is … Continued

The Final Farewell

Written by Sarah Pridham, for Still Aware. It is one thing to lose a baby – it is an entirely different situation when you have to organise you own babies funeral and wake. It is just not meant to happen, parents aren’t meant to outlive their children…the natural way of life is that the children give their parents a final farewell – so when it happens the other way around, well it’s safe to say that the world feels like it is completely upside down. The night after we lost our son I was laying in the hospital bed, unable to sleep, so I decided to start planning and organising the funeral and wake. I realised that I wanted it to be something truly special in his honour and memory –not only because that is what he deserved, but also because I would never be able to give him a … Continued

The days that follow

Written by Sarah Pridham, for Still Aware. The best way to start the second part of my blog would be blank – because that is how the first 24 hours was for me. It is known that physical and emotional trauma can directly affect the memory – some of the memory loss can be temporary however, often when the memory loss is caused by a severe psychological traumatic event it can be permanent. We tend to suppress and block severely traumatic events and this is yet another way that can affect our memory. For me, the first 24 hours is very blank. Many people out there think that you just have the loss itself to deal with – they don’t realise all the other things that are associated with the loss that you also have to find the strength and ability to deal with. Lots of women have caesareans (and … Continued

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