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Another Year Without You

Written by Sarah, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. As soon as July starts, so does the pain and grief of knowing that it has nearly been another full year without Jasper. Yet again the 28thof August is quickly approaching, and this will be his second angelversary, he should have been turning two, we should have had two years of moments and memories and two years as a family – instead, I’m left wondering what could have been. As his second angelversary approaches I find that I spend most of my time reflecting on so many things – on the pregnancy, on the loss, on the common reoccurring questions which remain unanswered (Why me? Why did this happen to us? Who would you have been? What would you have liked? What would you have learnt? What would you look like?) and I also wonder just how different the last two … Continued

A Light for the Journey

Written by Sarah, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. Over the last couple of months, I have had conversations with many people who advised me that they read my blogs (I didn’t know so many did)! It has been interesting and enlightening to find out the reasons as to why these different people read my blogs – a real eye-opener, so to speak! There were a variety of reasons and I would like to share these conversations and reasons with you, to show you how something as simple as writing a blog can be someone else’s light for their journey and how the impact that your words can have on someone else’s life. One lady told me that she started to read my blogs to gain a better understanding as to the journey of baby loss. Personally, she had never experienced it herself and she had no one close to … Continued

Still Standing

Written by Caroline Campbell, mum of Xanthe, for Still Aware I was 38 years old and 9 months pregnant with my third child on that day when my world came crashing down. Thursday, March 30th, 2017. I hated Thursdays for a long time afterward, and I still hate the month of March. My daughter, Xanthe, died 1 week before her scheduled caesarean due date. She had been perfectly healthy throughout the whole pregnancy, there were no warning signs that anything was wrong. She died with no known medical explanation. I was so happy as I set off for my last appointment at RPA to go and sign the consent forms for the caesarean and to have one last check-up. The last few months of being heavily pregnant and running around after my two energetic sons had felt like a marathon…and finally, the finish line was in sight, one more week … Continued

H.O.P.E – Hold On Pain Ends

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. Does it? Does pain ever really end? Both questions where I believe that the answer is no, especially if the pain is caused by grief and grief never truly ends. I did a google search to the question (even though within my heart I knew the answer to it) – Does grief ever end? The answer I was confronted with was “Grief, however, never truly ends, especially if that hurt was deep. A person may feel that he or she is through with grieving, and then a song, a scene from a movie or a ‘déjà vu’ event will trigger a bittersweet sadness. But with each recurrence of that grief, the pain will lessen”. I don’t believe that pain ends, and I certainly do not believe in the saying ‘time heals all wounds’, but I do believe that the pain … Continued

Mother’s Day

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware.   “Mother’s Day is a day of appreciation and respect. I can think of no Mothers who deserve it more, than those who had to give a child back” – Emma Bombeck   As soon as the end of April creeps up, so starts the tormenting roller-coaster of emotions and grief knowing that Mother’s Day is just around the corner. For a bereaved mother we live everyday with many confusing contrasts, and Mother’s Day just magnifies these even more, it is like a constant current that tugs and tosses about our hearts and minds.   Mother’s Day is supposed to be a day to honour the mother of the family, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds and the influence of mothers in society…but what is Mother’s Day for a mother who lost her child? Well, I’m not sure I even … Continued

Support After Loss

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware.   Support following any type of loss is one of the most important parts of the painful journey. Now that my Life Lessons blogs are complete, I decided that my next blog would be a list of different resources that relate to support following loss. It isn’t just the initial support that the bereaved need, it is the support weeks, months and years later that is the most important with a journey of loss and grief. A couple of days after the loss of our son, while I was still in hospital, I was handed a bag full of brochures and information in relation to grief, support groups and many other things including information about funeral planning and the start of the journey following on from the loss. Whilst I found some of the information helpful and useful, there was … Continued

What Does My Life Mean Now?

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware. This is a personal blog by Sarah Pridham and Still Aware acknowledge this may be sensitive to some readers. This blog does not reflect the views of Still Aware, however, we are sensitive to understand this blog does depict the turmoil some bereaved parents endure and there are many faces of grief. Still Aware want you to know you are not alone.    “A meaningful life is not being rich, being popular, being highly educated, or being perfect. It’s about being real, being humble, being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others” – Author Unknown. Well this is a blog that I could probably write a book about. The meaning of life, or the meaning of my life – what is it? I continually ask myself that question and continually come up with no clear answer. I … Continued

Footprints in the Sand

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware.   Fancy name for the title of a blog – well I think so anyway. However, this blog is about discussing my Footprints in the Sand fundraiser that I organised and hosted on Sunday the 3rdof March 2019 at North Beach, Wallaroo (yes, the fundraiser was on the beach). The first fundraiser that I organised and hosted was in February 2018, and immediately after I finished that fundraiser, I knew that I wanted to do one every year in our son’s memory and so the planning begun for the next one. At first it was quite a challenge as I knew I wanted to do something completely different from the first one – challenge accepted!!! The planning of this fundraiser was built around my initial idea of a memorial walk along the beach (and obviously the name of the fundraiser … Continued

Life Lessons – Part 7

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware.   Continuing from my previous blog about the life lessons that I have learnt since the loss of our son, here is Life Lesson #7, which is all about the Grief Journey – I have found that when you experience something so tragic and life altering you really do learn a lesson about grief and the long journey that follows. I am sure that everyone has heard the saying “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the Journey” – well within the last couple of months I have realised that the grief journey following baby loss is a continual and unending journey with no destination in sight. It is a journey that I will continue to walk every day of my life until my last breath and I am sure that I will continue to learn many life lessons along … Continued

Life Lessons – Part 6

Written by Sarah Pridham, mum of Jasper, for Still Aware.   Continuing from my previous blog about the life lessons that I have learnt since the loss of our son, here is Life Lesson #6. “I have heard it said that the greatest loss a human being can experience is the loss of a child. This is true. It doesn’t just change you, it demolishes you. The rest of your life is spent on another level” – Gloria Vanderbilt. There is no fancy title or name for this life lesson (sorry about that) – it quite simply is about how much my perspectives and outlook on life and many things to do with life changed following the loss of our son. The first 27 years of my life ended at 9:31am on the 28thof August 2017 (when our son passed away at 31 minutes old) and the new chapter of … Continued

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