People take getting pregnant and having babies for granted but after a miscarriage last year I treasured every kick and movement that Dolly gave me.. My pregnancy had gone smoothly and Dolly was a good size and I was having regular strong kicks..
4 days before we were due to go for our c section I woke up feeling different, Dolly didn’t give me the reassuring kick that she did every other morning. I gave it a couple of hours ate some food and had a cold drink but still nothing. So I rang labour ward and was told to pop in to get checked. I don’t know if I was in denial or if deep down I knew she was already sleeping but I ran around the house making sure my other children were fed and dressed before my parents came to sit with them.
When we got to the hospital a midwife tried to listen for a heart beat but nothing was there, I knew instantly!
We were taken into a side room were a doctor came and did a scan I kept thinking if he had found a heart beat he would of told me the second he saw it.. Then he looked at me and said how sorry he was. I just remember putting my hands over my face thinking I can’t look at my husband and how are we going to go home without our little girl, what do we tell our children..
I cried all through the c section the room was quiet no music played like it did at the other sections. My lovely midwife Claire brought our beautiful Dolly over to us wrapped in a pink fluffy blanket and she was absolutely perfect.. Weighing almost 9lb and with black curly hair.. We were so lucky the hospital had a cuddle cot that we could use and it allowed us three precious days & nights with our little girl.
Wrexham Maelor hospital were amazing with us I can’t thank all the auxiliary nurses, midwifes and doctors enough..
The doctor couldn’t give me a reason for us losing Dolly all results have since come back normal if there was anything I could say that was slightly unusual was that her pattern of movement had changed slightly in the last week or two but I was still getting really strong kicks and plenty of them. The antenatal check I had two days before she was born was normal and her heart rate was fine..
We will never have an answer and maybe that’s for the best but We count ourselves so lucky that we got to have her for the time we did and that she will always be our Dolly..
A month after we lost Dolly I got myself a job at a local coffee shop and have been raising money for 4louis the charity that gives hospitals memory boxes and cuddle cots, we have bought two cuddle cots and donated them to two local hospitals.
My only aim is to make Dolly proud of us..
If anyone reading this experiences a change of kicking pattern please go and get monitored xx
Written by Dolly’s Mother, Lisa.